beauty

from ashes.

i am so thankful
that our God, the
Creator of the universe,
is able to take
ashes and make something
beautiful.

i'm becoming more
and more aware of
how ugly things can get.
and how at times, it
is because God has
allowed them to get
ugly.

i had to search my
heart this morning,
something i need to
do more often, because
i have seen a lot of
"uglies". and i
wasn't sure why.

what i believe
God showed me is
this...
i am loving,
caring,
doting on,
another man.

a two month old
baby boy to be exact.
this little one
has captured my heart
and
i have given very little
attention
to the love of my life,
my husband.

and because of the
lack of attention
toward my husband,
my marriage has
suffered.

thankfully,
i married a very
patient, understanding,
and loving man
who gave me time
to search my heart.
and who accepted my apology
when i came to him
broken and in tears.

this whole time, i
was ready to point
the finger at him and
let him know how much
he's not doing...i was ready.

and then God broke me.
and showed me what i
wasn't doing.

i am so thankful
that our God
is a Redeemer.

He welcomes me,
stained with sin,
and through the blood
of Jesus, makes me
white as snow.

Only the One true God does that!
Only the One true God sacrificed
his Son on the cross
to save a wretch like me!
Only the One true God calls us
His children.

He makes beauty from ashes.
Amen.

a peek inside...

Quimarion's heart.

Let me give you some background before I share with you what this little boy said.

This past week has been a crazy week. Getting three kiddos ready for school. Fred started his new job. And we've been preparing for a new, tiny, little one joining us some time this week (much sooner than we expected).

And in the craziness of this week, Q has not been himself. He has reverted back to a lot of old behaviors that he displayed when we first brought him home. So I've had to take a step back and ask,"what is it that is throwing Q off?"

And to be honest, I didn't have a clue until the other night while I was praying with my prayer partners. I had confessed that I was fearful of Q's behavior. Fearful because it was so hard for me to know what to do with him when he behaved that way. As my friend was praying for Q, I sensed God wanting me to pray for Q. He wanted me to pray that Q would feel safe in His Father's arms. That he would feel loved. Was that it? Has he not felt loved?

So that brings us to tonight...
We were talking about how God made us to be part of a family. To which Q said, "I never knew that. I always thought I would be alone."
Are you kidding me? Oh how my mother's heart broke. Here is my little boy telling me that he always thought he would be alone! He continued telling me that he thought Fred and I were just teenagers and that we wouldn't be around all the time. He didn't know that we were going to be his dad and mom who would, Lord willing, never leave him alone. I tried prying a little more to see if he remembered from before he came into our family. But he didn't. And in a way I'm thankful for that. Because my heart's cry is that, by God's grace, he won't be able to recall what life was like before our home.

Today at Crossroads, Rod talked about family love. The kind of love that looks beyond the sin and loves the sinner. The kind of love that Jesus has for each one of us. The kind of love that God had to make real in my life. And the way God made it real was through Q. God broke my heart, turned my life upside-down, and slowly pried my fingers open so I would let go of the control I thought I had. And because He is full of love and grace, He picked me up, gave me a new heart, and has brought me into truth and freedom - all through the precious blood of Jesus Christ! So, who am I? That He would be mindful of me! I am a daughter of the Living King who is loved unconditionally and will continue to try to love in that same manner only by His grace!

Thank You Jesus!
Glory to God!

do you feel it?

God is moving.
it's not the kind of moving where you pack up and move to a different place.
no.
it's the kind of moving that happens in the hearts of His people.

this morning in my quiet time, i was reading in Genesis. i came across a phrase that made me cross-reference to the book of Judges.
the story i read in Judges was the one about Gideon.
the part of the story that grabbed my heart is when God told Gideon to take this group of men to the water and whoever drinks the water a certain way, those are the men to keep. everyone else gideon sent home.
why?
because the battle was the LORDS!
He wanted His people to know that He was the One who trampled down the enemies...not the thousands upon thousands of men.

after reading the story about gideon, i prayed.
and as i prayed the words, "spiritual revolution" came out of my mouth.
i stopped and wondered "did that realy come out of my mouth?"

whatever God is doing, i want to be a part of it.
i can be a part of it.
you can be a part of it.
anyone who confesses Jesus as Lord and believes in their hearts that God raised Him from the dead - can be a part of it.

the battle that we fight today is not against flesh and blood
but against the spiritual principalities.
the battle that we fight today may be different because we can't see our enemy but our God is the same.
and with Him on our side, "greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world".

Jesus saved me, you, all.
Jesus loves me, you, all.
we can't keep the Good News to ourselves any longer.
there is a battle going on.
He wants to recruit you.
will you join?